This is a satire patterned after the work of Irish writer Jonathan Swift. Our professor asked us to give this genre a shot in our writing. I want to know if you think this is already effective.
While procrastination ought to be abhorred as it is the nemesis of academic excellence or any kind of striving for that matter, it is rather quite easy and at times offensive for a student to be accused as a procrastinator especially when the fruits of his/her hard mental and physical labor fall short of expectations. This is likewise the case when the pitiful student seems to amuse his/her audience and some indifferent onlookers as s/he chases deadlines.
Such cannot go on and while there are, indeed, a vast number of students who exist in the name of complacency, who consider academic loads as a burden and a great hindrance to their own important affairs such as pigging in bed, popping their pupils out in front of a television monitor, sucking up all that radiation from the computer screen and not to mention, drugging their eardrums with a heavy dose of dissonant sound waves, there are still those gifted with the blessed awareness of the value of time.
For this kind of students, time is truly gold. It is sacred but it is what they usually do not have. I, for one, being classified as one of such students who understand the merits of time, deem it unjust that we are usually deprived of it though we are the ones in most need. We have deadlines and responsibilities. We have the weight of the world on our shoulders as we present ourselves under the limelight of an exhibition. I am rather disgusted at the sight of procrastinators lavishly and wastefully spending time like bottomless iced tea already paid for. They do not deserve such a privilege.
As such and upon a meticulous and a critical scrutiny of the situation and for the sake of those unscrupulously deprived of valuable time to carry on with their endeavors productively, I hereby and intelligibly propose that sleep, that right hand of the absolute nemesis, be abolished.
Any intellectual will surely find my proposal highly rational. Scientists, without doubt, will begin to work on this inception once they have read my proposal. Everywhere, energy capsules, cell rejuvenation methods and food supplements are sold to artificially induce the physiological effect created by the natural process of sleep. Once the perfect product or procedure has been developed to equal the benefits the body receives through the eight to ten hours required rest period, individuals, specifically the diligent students, since this is dedicated to them, will be grateful to know that they can already overcome their bodily limitations for optimal use of time.
Through this they can already accomplish tremendous amounts of tasks and through this; they need not anymore envy the procrastinators who are inferior in their regard of time. Let us not forget the advantage it brings to those who believe very much in the capacity of these diligent students and who entrust to them much of the weight in order to free themselves of their own duties in order for these students to truthfully uphold the most sensible ideals and demands of the title of being diligent.
If such attempt to abolish sleep be successful, it would also be a triumph of the entire human race and an assertion of our supremacy over the limitations with which we were created. It will also, literally and figuratively, invigorate the economy of any locality where this has been given priority through the buying and selling of the miracle drug or the miracle service or procedure. The diligent ones will also increase once the cause of such movement is made clear to them. Procrastinators, the lost ones, will also be converted.
In the end, the fundamental principle which thrusts this proposal afloat the sea of doubt which can probably be generated by the cynics-pessimists by the way, have with them the element of delay which causes further waste of time, is that there should be justice for those who are in want and in need of time so that they will not suffer terribly from false judgments and persecutions and that they will not be seen in the same league with those who do not deserve to be left with so much of such a precious resource.
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